JFK takes charge at Newcastle

Newcastle's players have given new boss Joe Kinnear the nickname JFK.

And it's not because he reminds them of the legendary US president in terms of his looks and oratory, oh no.

It stands for Joe F*cking Kinnear, because of his fondness for expletives.

Not bad for footballers...

Keown to join Adams at Pompey

Martin Keown has decided to join his old Arsenal pal Tony Adams at Portsmouth, Undercover Sport can reveal.

Keown, who currently works as a scout for Arsenal as well as being a pundit for the BBC, will focus on the team's defence.

Adams and Keown were at the heart of Arsenal's legendary back four, flanked by Lee Dixon and Nigel Winterburn, for more than a decade.

Like Pompey's new manager, Keown is an intense and even dour character. And that must be a concern for the club's fans.

Where once they had the ebullient, charismatic Harry Redknapp, now there is a humourless trio of Adams, Keown and Joe Jordan.

Undercover Sport's tip is for Pompey to get relegated this season. With the club cash-strapped and the coaching team hardly a barrel of laughs, several players will seek to leave in the January transfer window.

There won't be the money to get adequate replacements and the party will soon be over...